The Trouble With Thongs
Monday, November 20, 2006 at 08:06PM At the risk of giving the impression that I am having a love fest with Jenny over at Mama Drama, I have to mention yet again another recent post. If it wasn’t for reading about thongs and toddlers in the same post, I wouldn’t have remembered this rather, um, somewhat riskee story (her post is much more innocent than this one, as you can read for yourself). But, this is one of my favorite kids-say-the-darndest-things stories, so I will tell it regardless of how embarrassing it actually is for me. (But, first, I feel compelled to apologize to Budandpie, having just commented that I am a blogging introvert. This will probably not support that theory. My blogging personality is getting more extroverted as time goes on, much to the chagrin of my family, I am sure!)
On with the story, I know.
Several years ago, I was out shopping with my cousin Love (yes, that is her name) and her four year old son. We were having a grand old time, schlepping this poor kid around with us as we perused the aisles and did our girly thing. He amused himself in the usual kid ways, like ducking and dashing in between racks, etc. Then we drug him over to the dressing rooms with us so we could try on our newly found treasures. These were the cheap kind of dressing rooms, that only provided you with a curtain and one hook on which to hand your eighteen different items. This bugs me, because I have a definite system of separating no’s from yes’s from maybe’s from need another size’s, etc. In addition to that, they were smack in the middle of the store as opposed to their own little room, which can be quite detrimental. But, that is beside the point. This is not a story about how retailers can improve customer experience.
On with the story, I know.
Anyway, there we were in adjoining dressing rooms, trying our stuff on, then emerging from our tiny closets to model our new digs. My cousin was trying very hard to control her son, but obviously, he was getting antsy. Plus, it is hard to monitor a four year old while you are struggling to put a shirt over your head. He escaped her watch. So, unbeknownst to me, over he comes to my dressing room and whips open the curtain, just as I am stepping into a lovely pair of capri’s, bent over with my ass stuck up in the air.
“Oh Lori”, he screams, “Your butt is eating your underwear!”
Mortified, I attempt to turn around and shield myself from this young innocent lad, (as well as an entire store of people), which causes me to fall over into a crippled heap as the pants got tangled around my legs.
I scream, “Love!!!!!!!!!”
But, of course, she is hysterical laughing and therefore is of no help whatsoever.
As I struggled to get back onto my feet so I could rip that curtain out of his hands, I fall over again causing my butt fly up into air, granting him yet another opportunity to ponder this strange situation.
“It is eating them!” he yells in utter shock, as I stumble about like a complete idiot. “But, don’t worry, I’ll help you get ‘em out!”
At that moment, every adult within earshot screamed in unison, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Reader Comments (14)
Ahhhhh... gotta love 'em (kids, that is).
also, Jenny is luscious, isn't she?
i heart Jenny and Mama Drama crew, too.
This reminds me of a story I heard about a lady with a kid going to the bathroom at a sports arena. The bathrooms were echoey and everyone outside them could hear her child yelling "Mummy, there's poo on your undies!" over and over again. Yes, the mum was wearing Winnie the Pooh undies. And no, she didn't come out of the bathroom for a very long time.
well, that wasn't really the look i was going for.
wanted to send you an e-card but can't find your address. come over to my place and i'll give it to you in person.
x