Philadelphia, PA - We are all aware of the pressures teenagers and young women face daily, as they struggle to live up to the images of perfections they are bombarded with in fashion magazines. But those impossible goals are not limited to the young.  Older women are increasingly being subjected to ideals that defy the natural course of aging.  This seems especially true of older moms, thanks in part by the slangy term MILF, which in recent years has become the staple benchmark that determines whether a mom is “hot or not”.  But luckily, just when you think it can’t get any worse, we are seeing a new fashion trend emerge that represents a more realistic and healthy attitude towards aging and beauty.  Borrowing from the interior design term “shabby chic”, (where furniture is intentionally distressed for a look that is used and worn out, yet tasteful and distinguished) more and more women today are hailing themselves as the… 

FLABBY CHIC

Striving to be a MILF is becoming passe, according some local moms who are embracing their over 40 bodies without looking back in dismay. Take Momish, for example.  A few years ago, she was a slim size 4 and looked fabulous in clothes that reflected the latest fashion trends. Sporting form fitting outfits, Momish often shopped in the same stores as her teenage step daughters.  At that time, she would have done anything to keep her those nasty extra pounds and wrinkles at bay, from starvation to dangerous diet fads, to expensive anti-aging products. 

But these days, Momish is no longer oppressed by the mass media and public opinion, an opinion that all too often pigeon-holes teenagers, working women and older moms into maintaining impossible body proportions.  No, Momish and the other women over 40 like her, are breaking free!  Instead of looking towards all those waif-thin icons, they have found a new and bolder image to grab onto, one that they can realistically identify with, one which allows them to eat what they want without sacrificing self image or their fashion sense. 

“I just love the Flabby Chic look,” says Momish as she rips open a bag of cheese curls (having given up potato chips for lent, cheese curls are her latest comfort food).  Momish herself has managed to beef up over the last three years, thanks to being overworked and run ragged at home.  With increasing less hours in the day to herself, the idea of working out instead of vegging in front of the TV was starting to really take its toll.  “Now-a-days, I don’t worry about getting to the gym anymore.  After I finally get out of the office, I barely have enough time to get through dinner, bath time and finish my daily chores before I am ready to drop.  Adopting the Flabby Chic look has really helped me to enjoy those precious few minutes I have to myself without the torturous guilt and self loathing.  I also find I am more relaxed, thanks to being able to binge snack my way through especially stressful moments.”

But the best part about the Flabby Chic lifestyle is the chic part.  You don’t have to sacrifice style and grace just because you aren’t anorexic or the same weight you were at twenty-four.  Momish herself is on the fast track to becoming a solid size 8, having long ago handed down her size 4 clothes to her two step daughters.  Like Momish, many women today are constantly sacrificing their own wardrobes for the sake of their children’s needs or the household bills.  “It’s great,” Momish slyly grins as she ‘pinches more than an inch’ on her waist, “Going up another size gives me the perfect excuse to go shopping and spend money on myself for a change. Just wanting to keep in step with the latest trends wasn’t reason enough for me to treat myself to new things. But it’s a whole other story when I can’t fit in my clothes from last year. I mean, I can’t very well go to work naked, now can I?” 

So don’t fret ladies if that MILF status is beyond your reach thanks to your much deserved laugh lines, your naturally slowering metabolisms and your impressive busy schedules. As Momish tells us, “While only time can make you 40 and fabulous, anyone can be Flabby Chic. All it takes is a little flair for fashion. Well, that and a shitload of sugar and carbs!”

This is me trying to shove as much as possible into one post during a work break:

Well first off, I have to tell you about Piper’s latest accomplishment.  Poo on the potty.  Imagine my surprise when my daughter casually tells me she has to go to the potty and then proceeds to completely go. I mean the whole nine yards. Needless to say, there has been much praise and excitement going at chez Momish.

All in all, I have to say that those day care folks are doing a great job at potty training my child!

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I got my first speeding ticket ever.  I feel torn over this.  Half of me is bummed that my perfect driving record after 41 years is now tainted.  But the other half of me is carrying that ticket around like a badge of honor. Because after 41 years, I finally own a car that is capable of going over 70 MPH!

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Tonight Piper and I are staying over my sister’s house. My niece is turning 10 and in honor this occasion, she is having a sleep over. With 10 of her friends. My sister is crazy to agree to this, but she is my sister so I feel the need to help her through this momentary lapse of judgement.

If you don’t hear from me ever again, you know why. 

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Let’s talk about Facebook for a minute.  I finally figured all this stuff out.  After months of being poked, challenged, offered gifts, etc. I finally discovered how it all works. I am becoming quite the social butterfly, if I say so myself.  Those of you on Facebook that have sent me questions, gifts, offerings with no response, I thank you for patience and persistence.  But look out! This technical idiot savant has found her Facebook grove. 

The good thing about finally understanding Facebook is that I found a lot of my friends, some of them long lost and out of touch. But I have to admit, for a while there I was having an identity crisis. Ya’ll, I am not shitting you when I say all my friends (you guys included) are totally successful, interesting, ambitious and just downright awesome. Having it all laid out there in plain view kinda makes you evaluate yourself in comparison. This was not a fun exercise for me.

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On another note, I’ve decided to write a book, start my own business, travel the world, run a committee, join a band, star in a theater production and save the world.

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P.S. I gave up potato chips for lent. So far, so good.  If I make it all the way through, I fully expect a Thank You car from my ass come Easter.

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

I know I have been slacking lately on getting around to everyone’s blogs, not to mention keeping up with my own blog!  But, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to wish everyone a joyous holiday and wonderful New Year (just in case, but I hope to post again before then!)

I have been super busy at work, then my free time has been spent visiting, shopping, trimming the tree and all that fun holiday stuff.  I had to give a training presentation yesterday at work.  Since I have a phobia of public speaking, this has been weighing heavily on my mind for over a week.  I have been wrecked with anxiety over it, barely able to sleep, barely able to eat, nasty to people, completely distracted… the works.  I don’t know about any of you, but I simply hate being the center of attention and the idea of standing in front of a room and talking rocks me to the core.

Anyway, now it is finally all over and I am starting to feel human again.  Yesterday after I got home from work, I was still all tense and full of angst.  Even though it was now in my past, my body didn’t quite know how to let it go yet.  Today I woke up feeling myself again.

Does anyone else suffer from this affliction?  It is horrible, and trust me, public speaking classes haven’t made a smidgen of a difference.  But I am happy to report, that this time I didn’t vomit or pass out!  I am making progress for sure.

All I can say at this point is I am thrilled that I have a four day weekend ahead of me!  Yeah! And then it’s Christmas! Double Yeah!

I will tell you one cute thing my daughter did (lest you think I finally decided to post only to complain). 

We trimmed the tree last weekend and this is really the first year Piper has been fully part of all these festive activities, aware of what is going on and excited over the sudden change of pace.  So my husband gave her a bunch of these long icicle ornaments we have and demonstrated how to hang them on the tree.  She got right to work with a serious face and the full determination to do the best job ever.  A few minutes later, I hear my step daughter laughing hysterical.  Piper followed my husband’s directions verbatim and hung all the icicles on that one tree branch.  The poor little branch was sagging beyond recognition from the weight of five icicle ornaments.  And there was Piper, struggling to find an empty spot on it to hang yet another one!

I swear, just when I think I can’t love that kid anymore than I already do, she does something this fricking adorable and my heart swells even bigger for her.

Happiest of holidays.  Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you enjoy any time off you get from it!

So my cable company shuts down my internet service on Friday afternoon in preparation for my Saturday morning appointment. That just makes tons of sense, right?

Especially when they decide not to show up and reschedule my appointment for Monday WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME!

Naturally, I squawked when they didn’t show up and had them come the very next day. Sunday. Only the guy comes and does his thing and then leaves without setting up my internet again. Lovely. And how much do I pay for this stellar service?

So yeah, I was without internet service all weekend.  Nice, huh?

Guess what?  It was nice!  There was no pressure to get all that online stuff done.  Suddenly we were all talking to each other instead of burying our noses into our laptops.  We managed to entertain ourselves just fine, without anyone resorting to breathing into paper bags because they couldn’t check their email or ebay. 

Now I’m thinking I just might have to take an internet hiatus every weekend.  It actually felt like a holiday!!!

Hope your Thanksgiving was great (to all of you Americans) and your weekend was relaxing (to all of you who refused to brave the shopping crowds like me).

I hope to be back into full swing shortly, hopping over to your cozy corners of the internet in no time.