My best friend is a total bitch.

First, right after high school, she flies off to a college that is over three hours drive away.  Just left, up and left.  THEN, right after she graduates and moves back home, I finally head off to college (I was always a tad bit late to the game) and live in the desert for five long years. Ok, that part was not her fault, but she didn’t have to go get married and have a kid while I was away, did she?. The nerve of some people. And if that wasn’t enough, the friggin minute I get my butt back home, she takes off again.

TO ENGLAND! ENGLAND!

Hello! That is like a whole other country! Across a very large ocean!

That was around 15 years ago so I have forgiven her since. During all these years we have struggled to keep up with each other’s lives. It wasn’t always easy and gets harder and harder all the time, especially when you factor in adult jobs (real jobs, the kind that don’t allow you to take an entire summer off), then throw in more children along the way. Well, you get the idea. I don’t even have to mention the humongous time difference that thwarts quality phone chats, do I?

From time to time though, she manages to travel all the way back here for brief visits. However, it is usually during the holidays, which as you can imagine don’t actually make for quality catch-up time. Aside from running around shopping for last minute stocking stuffers, she is stuck visiting with all those other annoying people in her life that steal that precious time away from me.  You see, she may be a bitch, but she is a popular and well loved bitch. I know, it sucks. Why couldn’t she be a total moron that nobody likes? Just my luck.

Anyway, there is a point to all this and I am getting to it. This July she is coming for a WHOLE THREE WEEKS! I nearly bit my tongue off when she told me. Finally, we don’t have to squeeze in time with each other between wrapping and great aunt Matilda. In fact, just to ensure I get her all mostly to myself, I am renting a house down the shore for one of the weeks she is here. Long hours on the beach (with kids well entertained) and extended summer nights = endless talking with my friend! I can hardly wait!

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT! (you knew it was coming)

It is also the same week as BlogHer. So sadly, I won’t be able to meet all you amazing people that I have come to admire, adore and aspire to know in person.  As I visit all your blogs these days and read about your anticipation of meeting, finally hanging out together… well I admit it, I feel the pangs. Strong pangs. I really want to be there. But, every time I feel that jealousy twinge, I remind myself that I am lucky. I am lucky that the reason I cannot be there is such a delicious one.

I will certainly be missing you, and my chance to make even stronger friendships in person. But, I have been missing my best friend for 15 years. Maybe next year I will get to go, and you will all be there again. Then I can come back and write about all my new friends… those blogging bitches who have the audacity to live so far away! 

So I finally got around to uploading the birthday pictures only to find I actually didn’t take that many.  I spent most of the time running around hosting and catering, that I only remembered to pick up the camera and snap during the major events.  There are some shots before the party in her new pretty birthday dress, and some shots after the party hanging out with the gang. But, other than blowing out the candles, sadly I failed again in the “ultimate mommy” department.  Anyway, here is a preview.  The others are on Flickr (Mom, you have to click on the photo below to see the rest. CLICK ON THE PHOTO, MOM! JUST CLICK THERE! Ugh, never mind, mom - I’ll show you them later).

And this next picture I have to throw in because it signifies how charmed my life is.  When were at Toys-R-US shopping for a My First LeapPad  (her birthday present), they had mini coaches for her baby doll. I hemmed and hawed about getting one. Finally, after piling the cart three feet high with tons of stuff, my husband threatened divorce if I bought her one more thing. So, I passed on the coach and regretted it the entire ride home. I knew she would love it.

Then I saw the local yearly flea market going on and had him drop me off.  After an hour of wondering around, passing up amazing bargains (I only had 15 bucks in my wallet), I walked up the second to last stand.  There I saw a package of refill books for My First LeapPad (which I bought like just an hour ago! HELLO!) The tag said $3 (SHUT UP! THREE BUCKS!) I snatched it up lightening fast.

As I stood there feeling all savvy for scoring these babies so cheap, I swear I started to hear angels singing and noticed this bright white light pulsating to my right. I slowly turned my head and there it was, in all its glory with a glowing halo all around it, calling to me…  A baby doll coach!  I casually asked how much for the coach, trying not to sound too eager. “Four dollars” (SHUT THE HELL UP! NO WAY FOUR BUCKS!) I nearly passed out! They mistook my shock for hesitance and offered me an even sweeter deal, so I got both the coach and the expansion pack for six dollars! (I know, I know - SHUT UP!) There is no way my husband could divorce me over six dollars! 

Well, I was 100% right, Piper thoroughly enjoyed her coach. That day she must have walked the equivalent of ten miles back and forth in our yard (I couldn’t wait for her birthday to give it to her).  She took such good care of Baby, making sure the sun didn’t get in her eyes, feeding her every few feet, strapping her in for security, pointing out the birds along the way, etc.

That is until she figured out she could fit into the coach. 

Notice Baby left for dead, face down in the dirt.

I still haven’t gotten my shit together long enough to upload the birthday pics, so bear with me please. I want to get a good picture of the new tea set we gave Piper for her birthday. A couple of months ago, I noticed Piper really getting into pretend play. Suddenly her baby doll went everywhere she did. She also started using the sorting shapes as cups and bottles to feed her baby. So I was determined to find her a tea set and off to Toys R Us we went.

Well, after searching through a dozen or so sets that all have parts that could choke her to death, we found the ultimate tea set. I am not exaggerating here. ULTIMATE. It has a table, two chairs, a serving push cart with a removable tray, not to mention the 30 something pieces of silverware, plates, cups and pretend food items. We set it up the night before her party and she woke up to Christmas in May.

Needless to say, although I had a gajillion things to get done before guests arrived, I ended up playing tea party for a good portion of the morning.  By the time the clock started to creep towards the witching hour, I sadly left the pretend party to get ready for the real one.  I joined my husband in the kitchen and casually mentioned to him that “I was finally able to pull myself away”. 

To which he responded with comments about how wonderful I am to engage our daughter. How he had to hand it to me. How amazed he was that I could sit for so long and play with her. How I could make things like a simple tea set be so much fun.

{blink, blink}

He actually thinks this is like a sacrifice or something. In all honesty, there were times I forgot my daughter was even there! The moment I sat down at that little pink stool and saw the mini rolls, butter packets, the sugar shaker and milk cartons… POOF!… I turned into a six year old and shortly lost myself in a wave of nostalgia. It’s not like you ever get tired of playing house or pretending to be anything you want to be, it’s just that real life starts to take over, leaving you no excuse or extra time for silly stuff like that.

But I can use this. I can milk this. I can beg off the crappy real life stuff, passing those annoying things on to him. I now have the good old I-gotta-play-tea-or-our-daughter-will-suffer-because-she-is-an-only-child excuse. THIS IS GOOD! And it’s just gonna get better. Because from the moment I knew I was having a girl, I’ve been counting down the days until I can legitimately get my hands on an Easy Bake Oven. I haven’t had a mini cake cooked by light bulb in decades and baby, I can’t wait!  I get to do it all over again…AND earn a pat on the back to boot!

I was tagged by mommiebear2 for the ABC Meme, which was perfect timing.  I am still piled high with getting things done and back in order after the birthday weekend.  I promise to post about it and upload some pics soon.  Thank you all for your well wishes. Yesterday was another day spent in the ER to have the stitches taken out.  Piper is fine and healing well.  More later (and I promise to get around to everyone real soon).

The ABC Meme:

A - Attached or Single? Attached and hanging on tight!

B - Best Friend? I have best friends (with an ‘s’) and they would be Meeks, Val, Ne Ne, Andrea just to name a few.

C - Cake or Pie? Cake, then pie, then some more cake with extra icing please.

D - Drink of Choice? Wine (white over red, but both would do just fine)

E - Essential Items? Cell phone, hair gel, nail file, wine (white over read, but both would do just fine)

F - Favorite Color?  Changes all the time, but I have always liked purple

G - Gummie Bears or Worms? I’ll have to go with the bears on this one, but neither of them would be my first choice when it comes to extra calories.

H - Hometown? Philly, PA

I - Indulgence? Dinner at a fine restaurant

J - January or February? February because it is shorter (I hate the winter)!

K - Kids? one biological daughter, two step daughters

L - Life is incomplete without? Family and friends (including the furry kind)

M - Marriage Date? Official: 1/9/2004; Celebration: 12/30/2005

N - Number of Siblings? One, an older sister

O - Oranges or Apples? Oranges

P - Phobias/Fears? I am afraid of freezing to death.  It’s a completely irrational fear, but very real for me.

Q - Favorite Quote? “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” (Aristotle)

R - Reason to smile? Too many to name

S - Seasons? Anything but winter!

T - Tags? Let’s see… who haven’t I tagged in a while? Or ever?  How ‘bout Sparky Ducky and Lawyer Mama -> go for it, but only if you want to!

U - Unknown Fact About Me? What could possibly be left to reveal? Well, I don’t think I’ve mentioned how I am obsessed with containers. I refuse to have any products in sight, so all dish detergent, tea, coffee, hand lotion, and the like go into their own special decorative containers, canisters, pumps, jars, etc.  I get all “mommie dearest” if I see a product label in plain view. Is that a Lipton box on my counter? How many times have I told you, No Lipton boxes on the counter!!!

V - Vegetarian or oppressor of animals? Ex-vegetarian, but I hardly consider myself an oppressor

W - Worst Habit? biting my lip

X - X-rays or ultrasounds? I would have to say ultrasounds. Mostly because they seem to be done in the woman’s ward where people are friendlier and treat you nicer.

Y - Your favorite food? Thai

Z - Zodiac? Cancer

Thanks for the tag, mommiebear2!  Not only was it fun, but it saved me from falling off the blog earth!